The event gathered 35 Essex County residents, most of whom were from Newark, Irvington and East Orange, for a night of night of hugs and healing at the Hazel Student Center Ballroom of New Jersey Institute of Technology (NJIT). Marshall works at NJIT managing a state-funded 18-month grant program to help reduce gun violence. Joining NJIT in sponsoring the event’s third year in Newark were the Enough Is Enough Coalition , whose founder Thomas Ellis started the dinners, the Essex County Prosecutor’s Office, Perry’s Funeral Home, Newark, and several area churches.

“It was a gut-wrenching night,” says Marshall, who himself lost an 18-year-old cousin in 1975 to a violent crime. “ I sat at a table with a mother, a daughter and two little girls four and six. I know what it’s like to lose a family member. And I thought, here we are. It’s supposed to be the start of the holiday season and these kids are at a vigil service for their 26-year-old father.”

The evening began with a memorial service during which family members stood, informally introduced themselves and then received a round of hugs from each other. “ The hugging is really important, “ says Ellis. “No one knows each other when they arrive. Hearing about each other’s traumas, then hugging breaks the ice and by sharing what you’ve been through begins an important part of the healing process.”

The evening’s later candle lighting ceremony gave people more of a chance to open up. “ Everyone comes with a framed photograph of his or her deceased family member. They then light a candle near their photographs on a special table. It’s very moving,” says Marshall.

“I came for support and to share my own family’s experience with others of the same fate. It was a good thing to do ,” says Mattie Mallard, of Newark, the mother of the late Raynell Jinks, 28, who was shot in a Newark robbery attempt October 31, 1999. Later, her grandchildren Iyannah Godwin, 4, and Ebony Curry, 6, of Newark won two of four new bicycles donated by the East Orange law firm Roche & Carter, being raffled. Abraham Reed, 10, and Bryanna Sampson, 7, also of Newark, won the two other bicycles.

“The holiday season can be very hard to cope with not having a loved one around,” says Ellis. Physically, mentally and financially, the loss of a loved one can bring unforeseen hardships. But it can help for parents and family members to have a place in which they can share a traditional holiday dinner like Thanksgiving with others who share and understand their grief.”

Ellis, a victim, himself of gun violence, started the organization which is dedicated to stopping gun violence in 1993 in Atlanta, Georgia where he then resided. Creating the group was his answer to the troubling death of a 13-year-old girl Tiffany Harderson. Three years ago, when he moved to New Jersey, he not only kept up the group, but also continued the dinner.

Other dinner speakers included Newark Councilman Cory Booker, Pamela McClauley, of the Victim’s Witness Program of the Essex County Prosecutors Office, Reginald Jackson, pastor of the St. Matthews A.M.E. Church, Orange, and Marshall of NJIT. Everyone talked about how they personally have come to terms with senseless violence and how religion has helped them do this. “It all seems to come back to your own religious beliefs,” says Marshall.

NJIT is a public research university enrolling over 8,200 bachelor's, master's and doctoral students in 80 degree programs through its five colleges: Newark College of Engineering, New Jersey School of Architecture, College of Science and Liberal Arts, the School of Management and the Albert Dorman Honors College. Research initiatives include manufacturing, microelectronics, multimedia, transportation, computer science, solar astrophysics, environmental engineering and science, and architecture and building science.

According to Yahoo! Internet Life magazine rankings, NJIT has been America's most wired public university for three consecutive years. U.S. News and World Report's 1999 Annual Guide to America's Best Colleges ranked NJIT among the nation's top universities, and Money magazine's most recent issue of Best College Buys rated NJIT as the sixth best value among U.S. science and technology schools and among the top 100 overall. In September 1999, Mademoiselle ranked NJIT as the second most Internet-connected university in the nation.