Healthy Relationships and Consent
Healthy relationships are important. They are characterized by mutual respect, open communication, trust, support, boundaries, and consent.
Healthy relationships are not limited to romantic partnerships. Our connections with friends, family members, co-workers, and peers deserve equal respect and consideration.
As mentioned by Dr. Raquel Martin, exploring standards, expectations, and boundaries is essential to any relationship. Through open dialogue and reflection, we can cultivate safer, healthier dynamics in every area of our lives.
- Respect: You both understand what respect means to each other.
- Trust: You trust one another, and that trust is earned.
- Communication: When times get tough, you find constructive ways to communicate.
- Conflict: You agree to disagree.*
- Forgiveness: You practice forgiveness.*
- Commitment: You are both committed to nurturing the relationship.
- Kindness: You treat each other with kindness.
- Support: You enjoy each other's company and support each other's goals.
- Shared Decisions: You collaborate well when making decisions together.
- Resilience: You face difficult conversations rather than dodging them.
- Independence: You feel secure in your own identity and maintain independence from your partner.
Authenticity: You are comfortable being yourself around each other, even when you aren't "on."
*There may be topics where "agreeing to disagree" isn't possible. In those cases, it is completely okay to evaluate whether the relationship dynamic still serves your well-being. Similarly, forgiveness looks different for everyone—give yourself permission to move through that process at your own pace. These characteristics apply to all relationships, not just romantic partnerships.
Source: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/signs-of-a-healthy-relationship
Take this quiz provided by Love is Respect.
Although consent is often discussed in the context of sexual activity, it is important to check in with yourself and those around you in non-sexual situations as well. Consent is essential in all relationships.
Giving consent goes hand in hand with setting boundaries—the limits we establish within a situation, activity, or shared experience. Setting boundaries or giving consent can sometimes feel difficult due to an individual's upbringing, experiences with peer pressure, a lack of education on these topics, or other personal factors. For more guidance on setting boundaries, visit Love is Respect.
Communicating consent and establishing boundaries creates the foundation for loving, supportive, and healthy relationships.
Consent for sexual activity cannot be given:
- When someone asserts power and control over another person.
- When there is coercion, intimidation, threats, or physical force.
- When a person is incapacitated by alcohol or drugs.
- When a person is unconscious.
- When a person is mentally or physically impaired or incapacitated.
If someone freezes, there is no consent. If someone appeases out of fear, there is no consent. If someone changes their mind and their boundary is not respected, there is no consent.
Consent requires ongoing communication, attentiveness to body language, trust, and safety. This may require giving individuals the time, space, and options needed to comfortably express their wishes.
Consent can involve various forms of communication, both verbal and non-verbal. Some students with disabilities may use alternative communication methods to express consent or set boundaries. Misconceptions about disabled individuals' capacities can create barriers in the consent process, often leading to their voices being ignored or undervalued.
Whenever you are unsure, check in directly, pay close attention to both verbal and non-verbal cues, and foster an environment that allows space for clear choice, open dialogue, and ongoing processing.
The acronym CRISP was created by intimacy directors and coordinators to address consent within the entertainment industry. While developed for performance spaces, CRISP helps us better understand consent in both sexual and non-sexual contexts, while highlighting the impact of power dynamics.
C — Considered: It is essential to consider all factors that influence consent, such as power dynamics. Without examining these influences, we cannot make an informed decision on whether to give or withhold consent.
R — Reversible: You are allowed to change your mind at any time—even if you have previously engaged in the activity, and even if you initially agreed to it.
I — Informed: You can only give informed consent when you know the full picture and have clearly discussed boundaries, hesitations, needs, and desires.
S — Specific: Agreeing to one activity does not mean giving consent to all activities. It is important to check in every step of the way to ensure everyone feels safe and comfortable.
P — Participatory: Everyone must be involved in decisions concerning their own body. Consent means choices are never forced or imposed; rather, everyone engages as full and equal partners.